Are you really having an affair?

30th May 2018By Deborah Sadleraffairs, Issues, Relationships, Therapy

Micro-cheating is the latest word to describe infidelity and poses the question: are you really having an affair?  And if you’re not really having an affair, is your behaviour such that it is leading up to one? As a relationship therapist a large proportion of my work is helping clients deal with the, often destructive, … Read More

Taking the long view for better mental health

26th June 2017By Deborah SadlerTherapy

Taking the long view is ultimately better for mental health as ‘We Aren’t Built to Live in the Moment’.  This excellent article by Martin Seligman and John Tierney argues that we are not prisoners of the present and the past because we are able to  imagine and shape our futures.  In doing so we can … Read More

How to stay married by embracing change

2nd May 2017By Deborah SadlerChange, Relationships

To Stay Married, Embrace Change. Embracing change is the key to staying married, so writes Ada Calhoun (The New York Times, 21st April 2017). Her excellent article cites lack of change as the most common reason for divorce.  Solution focused therapy helping towards change Using solution-focused therapy I work (online) with many couples who are struggling … Read More

Rejection is Helpful

28th March 2017By Deborah SadlerTherapy

Viewing rejection as helpful is not a perspective that readily springs to mind.  This article, which was on the opinion page of the Guardian some time ago, is worth a read.  It concludes with the statement: “A rejection doesn’t mean you failed. It means you tried. Try again“.

Take the plunge

14th December 2016By Deborah SadlerTherapy

Take the plunge, make the big change, say no to the status quo-a new year is about to begin! Fear breeds inertia, whereas taking risks will boost your confidence and forward momentum, Oliver Burkeman says. To new clients: I now work online via zoom.  Yes, I made a big change!  True that it’s at a … Read More