One of the strengths of solution-focused therapy is the focus on choice. Clients consider what choices are open to them as they work on solving their problem. The choices and options discussed in therapy will only work if they are discovered by you; they will then be easier to live with and the steps you take to put them in place are more likely to succeed if they are uniquely yours.
My job is to facilitate this process. You may not initially make the right choices, but you’ll have the opportunity to try things and assess whether they are making a difference to your life and the lives of those important to you. We look very carefully in therapy at these choices and their effects on your life: are they right for you, which bits aren’t working for you, who is affected by your choices, in what way, what can be kept, strenghthened, chucked out, tweaked or managed?
The discovery that we really do have choices in our lives is wonderfully empowering, although some people find this idea scary and some aren’t quite ready to take this on board. What making choices means, of course, is that you can’t blame anyone else for their consequent successes or failures. However many find this idea empowering too, since you no longer perceive yourself as a victim of life and circumstances, present or past.
It can’t be denied that sometimes choices are made within limited confines and there may not be many options open to you, but there are always choices if you look closely enough – your first step is to choose to make them. However bad you perceive your choices to have been in the past, you don’t have to be trapped by them. Wrong choices are an inevitable part of life that can strengthen the learning curve towards making better ones.