It takes courage for couples to come to counselling. Courage because this is often unchartered territory for many and they’re not certain what they’re letting themselves in for. For some the idea of discussing their private life with a stranger engenders feelings of vulnerability and embarrassment. Others however are so damn angry and desperate that … Read More
Therapy
Vision
Have you got a clear view of what the ideal outcome would be to your problem? If you’re having problems in your relationship, how would you envisage your ideal relationship; how would you like your interaction with your child/parent to be; what will life look like if you are no longer depressed, anxious or addicted; … Read More
Exceptions and Instances: Holidays
It’s the holidays – well the sun’s been out so it must be! My July post on instances and exceptions discussed trying to identify the times when your problems are not so evident or influential. Frequently clients tell me that this happens for them during holiday times. This is worth a further thought or two: … Read More
Instances and Exceptions: the times when problems are not so influential
We argue all the time. I’m constantly angry. He never talks. She always criticises. I’m always depressed/anxious/stressed. She/he never contributes. Our lives are always chaotic. We have never been happy and contented. I can’t ever trust him/her again. These are problem statements which come up regularly in therapy. They are statements which many of us use … Read More
Depression and exercise. What’s your view?
You may have picked up on the recent debates in the press on depression and the efficacy of exercise as a cure. If you suffer from depression this could well have piqued your interest (or ire!). Findings cited in a research article published in the BMJ and widely reported in the press on the beneficial … Read More
About Depression
Signs and Symptoms There is no question that depression is extremely debilitating and has many symptoms : fatigue, lack of motivation, a deep despair, lack of confidence and self-esteem, anger, inability to sleep, suicidal thoughts (or attempts), forgetfulness, overwork and hyper-activity – the list is endless. Depression can strike at any time in our lives … Read More
Tools
When asked what they are seeking from their therapy clients often say that what they want is another perspective on their problems, that they are looking for tools to help them. Describing their goal in this way makes perfect sense. This clearly stated aim shows a determination to solve the problem. In solution-focused therapy clients … Read More
It’s SO Embarrassing – Reflections on attending Therapy
Some clients are embarrassed and ashamed about coming to therapy. They have described their need to seek therapy variously as “weak”, “self-indulgent” or “insane”! Invariably clients come to therapy when they are in crisis or at an impasse in their lives; sometimes they feel ‘co-erced’ into coming by a parent, partner, or agency. Many are … Read More
Lists and Records
It’s January again (in case you haven’t noticed) and many of us are scrambling for pen and paper/mouse/ipad/computer/mobile phone/postit note, intent on recording our new year resolutions and by so doing, set some goals to achieve for the year. This list (or record) is a manifestation of our sincere hope to improve our future in … Read More