Are you really having an affair?

30th May 2018By Deborah Sadleraffairs, Issues, Relationships, Therapy

Micro-cheating is the latest word to describe infidelity and poses the question: are you really having an affair?  And if you’re not really having an affair, is your behaviour such that it is leading up to one? As a relationship therapist a large proportion of my work is helping clients deal with the, often destructive, … Read More

What makes relationships work?

16th June 2014By Deborah SadlerRelationships

What makes relationships work – happily there is not a one-size-fits-all answer.  But there are characterstics common to all. This article describes the essential ingredients which make for contented and long lasting relationships.  Committed, lifelong relationships are underpinned by kindness and generosity.  Read how this works.      

Relationship Advice

8th May 2013By Deborah SadlerChoices, Relationships, Solutions

I work with many couples who come to see me at various stages of crisis in their relationship, so I found a recent blog post on relationship advice from LifeHacker to be pertinent. The problems central to this relationship failure are typical of those which couples bring to relationship counselling. What I particularly like is … Read More

Saving your Relationship – Masters and Disasters

4th April 2013By Deborah SadlerRelationships, Therapy

Dr John Gottman has studied couples for over thirty years and has used his research to  evolve a particular method of working with couples who are experiencing difficulties in their relationships.  You may wish to view this clip, which identifies some of the essential elements which make couple relationships work.    This was an out-take of … Read More

Intimacy

8th March 2013By Deborah SadlerRelationships

The routines of daily life and the attendant stresses and strains often result in couples losing contact.  They believe they know all there is to know about one another and simply stop listening and talking to each other; intimacy dwindles away.   Intimacy, which is aided by good communication, can be created in simple ways. … Read More

Instances and Exceptions: the times when problems are not so influential

2nd July 2012By Deborah SadlerIssues, Relationships, Solutions, Therapy

We argue all the time.  I’m constantly angry.  He never talks.  She always criticises.  I’m always depressed/anxious/stressed.  She/he never contributes.  Our lives are always chaotic.  We have never been happy and contented.  I can’t ever trust him/her again. These are problem statements which come up regularly in therapy.  They are statements which many of us use … Read More